the good and the bad

How is it that the good and the bad can live side by side within these shells we call ourselves? I am amazed at how easily I am drawn off course and away from the man I want to be by the enticements that appeal to the darker heart within me. I know what I want, and still, like Charlie Brown running at the football that is only ever pulled away at the last minute, I forsake what I know for the junk of this world. I have recently done "the right thing" in response to one of these episodes. I can't say I feel particularly victorious, more like just flat, nothing...but I know I chose right, and it is confirmed by the absence of that soul sickness that overtakes the one who is trying to live two lives at once while knowing that only one is worth living and the other is but a vessel filling with misery for a later day... So I persevere